< Time is Running Out >

I think I'm drowning asphyxiating I wanna break the spell that you've created you're something beautiful a contradiction I wanna play the game I want the friction you will be the death of me yeah, you will be the death of me bury it I won't let you bury it I won't let you smother it I won't let you murder it our time is running out and our time is running out you can't push it underground we can't stop it screaming out I wanted freedom but I'm restricted I tried to give you up but I'm addicted now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation you'll never dream of breaking this fixation you will squeeze the life out of me bury it I won't let you bury it I won't let you smother it I won't let you murder it our time is running out and our time is running out you can't push it underground we can't stop it screaming out how did it come to this you will suck the life out of me bury it I won't let you bury it I won't let you smother it I won't let you murder it our time is running out and our time is running out you can't push it underground we can't stop it screaming out how did it come to this...

I really wish my mother had a girl when Chavo was born. I realled wanted a sister. My brother sucks. Third day of school and he got suspended. Oh grrrreat! See how lovely my family is? If only I had an older sister. Man I’d even settle for an older brother, I just hate being the older one. I don’t know what I’m doing man, so stop looking up to me!

More fun filled drama in my life. Don’t you just love it? I know I do… NOT! Oh my gah man. Oh my gah. I’m so out of my grandpa’s house. I don’t care if he needs me anymore because yesterday he made a choice. In my eyes –which I must admit see things one sided- my grandpa chose to let Henry disrespect me. For one, the assh*le kept calling me a f*cking b*tch and he hit my dog and then had the nerve to claim that I am trying to mooch off my grandfather. I yelled, “At least I’m not 40 and still living with my father!” And he was all, “Well you’re trying!” Whatever mother f-er. You’re just mad that I got my shit together and you don’t. He was all, “At least I have a real job!” Ummm… Yea, dry walling is such the ‘real’ job. But I must admit he got to me. And when he later went into the kitchen and taunted me through my door I wanted to fucking rip his ugly head off.

I was bawling my eyes out and I hate myself for it. I just not used to older guys yelling in my face and calling me a bitch. One, I’ve never tolerated that behavior in my life and two, it’s never happened to me until now. So that’s check two on the bitch slapped front. And by my own family. Wow. That is a very sad record I hold. Bastards.

So I gotta get another –better paying- job and get my ass outtie cuz I don’t want to live with anyone but myself. I think that would most definitely take the confrontations to a minimum. Now all I have to do is get a new job, save a butt load of money, fix my credit and find an affordable place to reside. A place that accepts cats that bark –Bandit-. Any takers? I may need a roommate if the price is right. Hahaha!

Now as for my weekend there was no weakened because I was still nursing a cold. But I’m all better now and I’m absolutely dreading going to class cuz I missed out first chapter test last wed. cuz I was sicker than a dog! Plus I haven’t paid for my classes yet and it’s like three weeks overdue. Whoops!

MUSE rocks man. Seriously, I love this CD, it’s right up there with CHEVELLE and BRAND NEW oh and DASBOARD CONFESSIONAL. Can’t forget that one! Anyways Muse is a great CD. I’m loving it. I’m not too much into the new Incubus CD, I only listen to TV on Mute and then I’ll switch CD’s. haha! Why can’t I be a rock star? I mean seriously, my voice ain’t THAT bad is it? Man I’m just cracking myself up over here. I’m so retarded man! Gah.

I’m outtie cuz I ain’t got much else to say and I miss how things to used to be. Change sucks, seriously. Okay go out and buy the Muse CD everyone. And when I say everyone I mean all the crickets that are chirping during this reading. Thank you and good day! I said good day!

…elena






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